INDIAN CURRY RHAPSODY

Vital research has just found the little known Indian version of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody!!

Naan, just killed a man

Poppadom against his head

Had lime pickle now he's dead.

Naan, dinner's just begun

But now I'm gonna throw it all away.

Naan, ooh, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry

If I'm not back from the loo by this time tomorrow

Curry on, curry on

Cause nothing really madras.

Too late, my dinner's gone

Sends shivers down my spine

Bottom aching all the time

Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.

Naan, ooh, ooh

This dopiaza is so mild

I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

(guitar solo)

I see a little chicken tikka on the side

Rogan Josh, rogan josh, pass the chutney made of mango

Vindaloo does nicely very very

spicy

Meat!

 

Byriani (Byriani)

Byriani (Byriani)

Byriani and a naan

(A vindaloo loo loo loo)

I've eaten balti, somebody help me

He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory

Stand you well back

'Case the loo is quarantined

here it comes

There it goes

Technicolor yawn

I chunder

No!

It's coming up again (There he goes)

I chunder, it's coming back again (There he goes)

Coming back again (up again)

here it comes again.

(No, no, no, no, no, no, NO)

On my knees, I'm on my knees

On his knees, oh there he goes

This vindaloo

Is about to wreck my guts

Poor meeee... poor meeee.... Poor MEEEEE!

(Guitar solo)

So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?

So you try to eat curry and

drink beer all night?

Oh maybe, but now you'll puke like a baby

Just had to come out

It just had to come right out in here.

(Guitar solo)

(slow bit)

korma or dopiaza

bhaji, naan or saag

Nothing makes a difference

Nothing makes a difference

To meeee....

 

Any way the wind blows.............shshshsh)

 

 

Cunningness Misplaced (Partie Deux)

Last week I posted Cunningness Misplaced" which is in a nutshell is about the police catchign red light runners on Nelson St just off the N'West M'Way. Well today they are at it again. This time there was no cop on the corner. Perhaps it didn't work quite well the last time so this time they've decided to hide. They posted stops about 100 metres in (which is the exact legal requirement - i.e. cops have to be visible for 100 metres if they were to set a trap. This rule may be old and obsolete since they seem to change the rules without really telling people). Good thing traffic is not as bad today.

 

For them to setup another trap like this which is quite dangerous and a nuisance on peak hour traffic, the revenue gathering must have gone really well. They can't wait to gather more revenue. I'm not sure how the financial year works for the Police but perhaps it ends in March/April and they are trying to catch up?

Panda Porn

A zoo in Thailand is planning to make Panda Porn thinking it would help their two pandas mate successfully - assuming that the Pandas are smart enough to understand videos. Next thing you'll hear, they are making Panda Viagara.

At the doctor's office

Posted on behalf of Godzilla...


A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"

Do you have big testicles...dumbass?

This is an interesting study of testicle size in relation brain size.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.

John Campbell Wannabe

I was watching the first segment of Breakfast on TV one this morning and they were interviewing Don Brash. Willie Jackson was the person interviewing. WIllie first introduced Don and said the interview is about National Party's view on the country moving forward as one.

 

Dr Brash confirmed this as he did in the last election. The party's view is against race-based policy's and to be honest it is a bit unfair that there are race-specific benefits. e.g. there are so and so number of seats available for Maori's who want to get into Med School. Since this set of seats is specifically for Maori, the selection procedures or quality is most likely different (either harder or easier to get in). If they want to argue that the Maori seats are just as hard to get into as the normal, then why have them separate? After all, a doctor is a doctor.

 

This is just one of the examples. Some people think National is racist or anti-Maori and this is what Willie Jackson is trying to establish. However, my complaint is that Willie was very biased in his questioning. He ask Don Brash this several times and after Brash answered the question, Willie will say "Then why were you willing to form a coalition with the Maori Party last september?" or "isn't it true you wanted to form a coallition with the Maori party?"

 

Doesn't Willie understand the answer. National's policy is not against the Maori people but it is pro New Zealand as a whole - NZ moving forward as one. If National was/is willing to form a coalition with the Maori party then that simply proves National is willing to work with anyone regardless of race.

 

 

How do you explain my headaches then?

Studies have shown there is no link between brain cancer and mobile phones. So I guess we are all safe!! Yay!

 

 

Second leg of tripod gone

Just found out today that the second of the gossip trio is leaving the company to work from home. Goody! In 4 weeks there will only be one gossip king whom I hope will not be able to continue talking behind people's backs.

For several times he has tried to engage me in degrading gossip but I refused to take the bait. Now he is the only one left behind. My only hope is that he will not be able to form a new tripod of gossipers.

"Leg 2" recommended another person to take her place and it just so happens that I know this person. He is a good guy however, he does have some common traits with gossip king. He is anti-microsoft and anti-bush. I'm not saying I'm pro-bush or pro-microsoft...I'm just saying there are some people who tend to dismiss certains just because of some general belief. e.g. some people have an expressed hatred against xbox since it is a microsoft product. I on the other hand do not really care who made it as long as it works great.

We'll see if this guys accepts the job. He is a freelancer at the mo and he seems to enjoy it.

On a different note, what is it with "Star Wrecks" huh? To boldly go where no one  has dumped rubbish before...

 

 

Bad dog

Today I Binky dug up cat poo from one of my seedling trays in the back yard and started playing with it. She carried it around in her mouth like a toy and ran around the yard. It must have been some sweet smelling shit for her to do that. Not surprising though - I think any animal can do that. When Binky was younger, I fed some cashew nuts and her digestive system was probably a bit undeveloped as most of it came out. The following morning, I saw her stool had bite marks on it. It look like some cat went through it. Anyway, I decided to give Binky a bath. Good timing anyway. It is her 3 month bday tomorrow. Here are her new photos. She's bigger now and her ears are more erect - again...hopefully it will be fully erect soon.


Ok this is one of her trademark poses...Blue Steel


And this one if the formal pose. Kinda like when she sits behind her desk.

Here is something that came out of "When pets go wild!"

No photoshop there. Took me a dozen tries to get this shot.

I'll tell you another Bad dog story. This Maori performer Richard Mitai-Ngatai headbutted a tourist just because the tourist was smirking while Richard was performing the wero (maori welcome). Being a tourism performer, this bad dog should be more sensitive to tourists' reactions. Not everyone know how to react in this situations and all he needed to do is advice this tourist how to behave. Obviously, like other domesticated pets, Richard still got a bit of the wild in him.

Personally, the Maori welcome when you enter the marae is actually quite scary. It doesn't look like a welcome at all. Is this due to the nature of being warriors or does it show some uncivilised trait? The haka for example shows some aggressive tendencies but it does look like a friendly challenge. The latest haka is a different story. It is too aggressive - any throat slitting gesture is normally seen as aggressive and worse if seen in a situation where the match is suppose to be friendly.

Bitch Barbie Going

A few months ago, one of the gossiping/back stabbing queens herer at
work took over another guy's job. At the time, I thought she wouldn't
last long and I doubted her ability to perform since one, she doesn't
have enough experience. Second, she doesn't really know the magazine
and technology. Third, I just don't like her as she is one of those
who gossip and call people names, etc. Including myself. I've written
about her quite a few times since the beginning of the blog.

Sadly she was not fired but since she hasn't been meeting her targets,
she quit before it got to that. It's only been 5 months since she took
over the job.

She came to talk to us yesterday and today and apparently she just
bought a house two days ago and she will now be working from home. I
guess lucky for some and in my personal opinion, she does not deserve
this luck.

Biatch!

Cunningness Misplaced

On my way to work, there I was at the traffic light of the Nelson
Street Exit of the N/W M'Way. There was this fella standing by the
traffic light post. He was wearing a uniform which I've dismissed as a
cop uniform since I couldn't see any cop cars parked around there. I
said to myself...that is weird. Why would someone like that (possibly
a fireman or security guard) be standing there?

He wasn't doing anything to the pole. In fact he was facing the other
way with his back towards me. However, I could see his hands doing
listing something and touching his radio once in a while. I ignored
him for the time being...

The light went green and as I went around the bend, there they are the
about 200 metres in. A cop car blocked the left most lane complete
with orange cones. Cops were standing in front of the car. Looking
right, there are a couple of cop bikes and one just pulled over a grey
car from one of the centre lanes...I mean CENTRE lanes! I suspect the
car ran a red or something...

This rush hour people! Why would they disrupt traffic like that.
Nelson street is one of the busiest streets in town especially during
rush hour! Then there is this business of pulling over cars from the
centre lane and there are at least half a dozen cars disrupted on the
right lanes.

I must say it is a cunning techinique. Without the car, the cop on the
corner didn't look suspicious. No one would have thought he was part
of a revenue-gathering team. However, I am appalled by the timing. Why
can't they do this later in the day!? More importantly, why can't they
use this techinique and use their cunningness with real police work
like catching crims?

First day back at work

There is probably one day worse than Mondays and it is the first Monday back to work after the Christmas holiday. You are still in holiday mode - more like lazy mode and you are not quite feeling well due to all the over-indulgence during the holiday period.

But here I am. It is now the afternoon. I guess the morning went by ok. Went through my 500-600 emails. Now I'm down to 20...oh wait...25 - more came in from sadistic bosses. I'm still suffering from back pain though. I think I will definitely do that chair massage on thursday and hope it will fix my back.

I didn't do much over the xmas/new year holidays. Mostly just chillin' around and went to family gatherings.

Some of my colleagues went overseas including places like Borneo and Vanuatu. One went to their family camping grounds in Coromandel.

One think I did though, got a dog just before the xmas holiday and her name is Binky (short for Bianca):

This is her on the couch. Look at that smug look... She was born 19th Oct, 2005 which makes her around 12 weeks now.

Here she is again at around 9 weeks. She loves to play with this small teddy I brought home from work. Don't ask why I have a teddy at work. Actually it is not really mine :).

Don't let this look fool you. She may look innocent but she is up to something.

I probably shouldnt let her do it but she prefers sleeping on the couch on a pillow. Actually she's got her own pillow complete with her own fluffy blankie but she likes the couch.

One of the few times she's actually slept on her own bed.

This is her first Chrismas and Christmas Present.

She seems to have enjoyed opening the present and playing in her new blanket. Didn't last long though :) She lost interest in the blanket after a day.

She's grown a lot bigger in 4-5 weeks. She has probably doubled in size.

Narnia

i liked the lion. if you like the potter movies so far, this film might be a good companion to that series. and it's good to see some kiwi magic again in the silverscreen (next up for me is that kong guy). i just wish they extended the movie a bit more. i'm not familiar with the books, but to me, the film felt like a bit hanging in some parts. out of 5 stars, i'd give it a 3.

Happy New Year to Everyone1